our blog has moved

our blog, everything falls apart, has moved to our own domain! i will no longer be writing my nonsense here so please click here and don’t forget to bookmark us. so why have we moved? well, all free sites have limitations and that’s not good for us creative bods. we have had our own domain forever (only a slight exaggeration) and the only reason we hadn’t attached our blog to it was because we didn’t know how. i finally cracked a few days ago and cried out “how hard can it be, for crying out loud?”

well… it turns out that on our server, it’s pretty bloody hard. i’ve spent the last, i don’t know how many hours, delving into databases and code installing the “miraculous 5 minute installation” from wordpress. believe me people, it is not miraculous and it takes a damn sight longer than 5 minutes. many hosting services have one-click installation. ours is not one of them. i had several lengthy live chats with a very helpful guy in russia (yes, all their help desk staff are actually in russia!) only to discover that the databaseinformation that they give you are actually wrong. this means that you find yourself just one step from finishing and you get an error message. the message basically translates as “you have just wasted another hour of your life and there’s sod all you can do about it. want to waste another hour?”

anyway, i got it done in the end and my happy dance was definitely something to be seen. our slightly senile surreal web designer made the beautiful template makes our blog look like ours at long last. expect lots more gadgets and interactive baubles in the future.

don’t forget to bookmark us since this will probably be the last post from here.

see you on the other side…


the diva is ready to fess up

so, i’ve been in the naughty corner for ages now and it’s about time i got down to the nitty gritty of why i’ve been there. i haven’t updated this blog because…. i’m writing a book! yes, dear reader, all 6 of you (although i think one of you got fed up of waiting for this post and stormed off in a huff), a proper serious grown-up book. it’s called “invisible” and is the collection of my writing about the roma (pejorative: gypsy) that i have posted over the last five years at my grown-up blog “this is not my country“. it will be available as an ebook from the 1st of october and will contain my own original photographs from the settlements i visited. i am also hoping to find a publisher to back a paper and ink version at a later date.

join my other blog’s facebook page for regular updates about the book and much much more.

that’s all for now. back to frivolous nonsense once the book is done!

twitter twaddle

do any of you use twitter?

if you are asking ‘what the hell is twitter?” then you probably don’t use it, although those of us who do could ask ourselves the same question.

basically, it is a social networking system that allows you to send and read people’s “tweets” which are text messages of up to 140 characters. in a nutshell, it’s your facebook status without all the other paraphernalia.

over 100 million people use it, mostly for very dull and pointless purposes. but there are some people (very, very few) who are able to be genuinely amusing in 140 characters. perhaps the most famous is stephen fry (mentioned in the previous post). the woman who claims to be his wife and mother of his 5 or 6 children, mrs stephen fry, is perhaps even funnier (she also has a blog). another bastion of british comedy, john cleese is still alive and twatting like a loon.  the fucking queen is amusing but not amused. and god has a sense of humour, believe it or not. shit my dad says is worth joining twitter for but one of my absolute favorites has to be the funniest dog on the planet, bLoOMeRrOoNeY. she’s the only person (or animal) who merits using capital letters on this blog.

and there’s the dilemna. you cannot enjoy the pearls of nonsense on twitter unless you actually join and most people really don’t want to bother with any more internet crap. but if you do want to broaden your horizons beyond facebook, twitter can be fun and has also broken news before some of the major news channels. tweeple knew about the earthquake in haiti long before the msm picked it up and when the icelandic volcano trapped travellers all over europe, twitter was invaluable for hooking up and sharing rides to get home.

so if you need more entertainment but have the attention span of a gnat, join us and lots of other silly people on twitter. and don’t blame me if you get addicted. i’m sure there’s an online therapy group for tweetaholism and twitterhea.

happy tweeting…

bottom burps

you might be wondering what happened to your delightfully devious diva of derision this week. alternatively, you could be out enjoying yourself at the seaside. or perhaps, and i doubt this very much, you couldn’t care less. well…. i’ve been deep in qi land. a marvellous british comedy programme where incredibly funny people sit about being quite interesting.

the premise of the game is that stephen fry asks difficult and sometimes impossible questions and the panel get points for being right but more importantly, for being interesting. points are deducted for being obvious, boring or wrong. alan davies is the regular contestant and has the dubious pleasure of getting the least amount of marks in each show, usually in the minus numbers.

it’s hard to describe to people as it often descends into a rambling and hilarious jumble of one-liners and rants blurted out in rapid succession by people with brains the size of norfolk. it often descends into delightful riffs on bottoms (both back and front), cocks, diarrhoea (arse gravy) and homosexual innuendo. but for all its public schoolboy humour, it’s actually quite interesting and very, very funny.

and you do learn an awful lot of nonsense. according to the qi elves, the chinese invented almost everything, the greeks invented most of everything else and the british did very little of anything except invent some brilliant comedy shows.

spot on.

normal blogging will resume once i stop laughing…

songs for gay dogs

yesterday, i was cruising around facebook, feeling very grumpy that everyone seems to be on holiday and decided to write a post today about how social media is ruining my life. however, this morning vishy showed me a link to “the most ridiculous album covers of all time” at the huffington post and it restored my faith in the internet’s ability to enrich our existence. the record cover above had me giggling like a five year old. so i thought i’d get creative and come up with the first 5 album titles for bad mathematics:

1: tits and souvlaki

this came out of a very productive and silly meeting with major tom at our house. on his way in he picked up one of those sad leaflets that get thrown at your door on a regular basis. it was for a local kebab place and featured a very well-endowed girl who seemed to be riding a giant souvlaki. a fantastic failure of everything that is design but inspiration for the muddled mind of a diva.

2: cassi and her communist sisters

this is a long-standing joke between the members of the band. people always pick out the frontperson and assume that everyone else is hanging about in the background for effect and don’t actually do anything creative. nothing could be further from the truth in the case of bad mathematics but it does make a great title.

3: f#@&! s*&@$!?*!go** ?ki***

over the years, in our endless battle with language, we have developed a kind of nonsense gringlish half-witted vocabulary which we all sort of understand, although andreas is the master. he has the ability to reel off a diatribe at break-neck speed and then turn round and ask us what the hell he just said. fantastic.

4: pornography

one of the most popular bad mathematic’s songs, thanks in part (i suspect) to the title. we have never been known to shy away from controversy even going as far as making most of it up. so what the hell, let’s go straight for the censors with this one.

5: bad mathematics greatest hits or the best of bad mathematics

i think we should release this one first so that we can win the “tackiest band you’ve never heard of” award. how brilliant would that be ?

vote for your favorite title or come up with some of your own in the comments. surely you have nothing better to do on this fine tuesday…