mountain of love

if you haven’t done so yet, go and join mountain of love on facebook. our mate piers marsh is feverishly working away in the studio and has posted a tasty teaser on the fan page.

there is something deeply wonderful about friends working on creative endeavours and being fuc*!ng good at it. it’s not about whether they get famous (or even any recognition) for doing it. it’s the fact that they have the guts to do it anyway. in this case though, i’m pretty sure that this album is going to be big and us fans of mountain of love can boast that we heard it first.

best of luck piers.

we’re with you all the way

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totty talk

there has been a lot of talk in the bad mathematics posse about totty. what is totty, you might ask yourself if you live on the other side of the pond ? here is the urban dictionary definition

(british informal) people, especially women, collectively considered as sexual objects

let’s set the record straight once and for all. totty might be talked about (loudly) on a regular basis by the male species but us girls talk about totty just as much. we just don’t talk about it with you.

there seems to be a misconception that girls talk about boys in terms of future husband material. will they be a good provider ? will they be dependable ? will they be faithful ? of course, this is utter bollocks. we talk about men in the same way as men talk about women. have they got a nice botty ? will they be good in bed ? in general, (and this is a generalisation. as are all my ramblings) we are not attracted by bank accounts any more than men are attracted by our cooking abilities.

no. we want totty. and we want to be able to talk about totty without feeling like a man-eating bitch from hell. i’m not advocating panting and drooling in the street. that’s just nasty. just an appreciation and acceptance that human beings find certain other human beings totally tottylicious.

back when our parents were young (for those of us born earlier than the bloody eighties), women were supposed to wait around for a suitor to choose them, date for a respectable amount of time, get hitched and then spend their married life lying back and thinking of england. surely times have changed? perhaps not as much as we’d like to think. nice girls are still not supposed to chase the boys like rampant little bunnies. we’re not supposed to get all hot and bothered when we see a bit of man totty. but we do. but we only talk about it with our girlfriends.

what i suggest is that instead of getting angry and upset at the menfolk talking about us as being hot, lets be more open about what we find hot. let’s get that dirty laundry out and shake it about in public.

men like to be considered to be totty. most of my male friends would give their left testicle to be thought of as totty. why don’t we tell them they’re delicious and how about a romp in the sack ? we’ve been told that they won’t respect us if we do. this is a lie. men who don’t respect women don’t respect them anyway. whether they sleep with them or not. real men love women and love women who know what they want and go out and get it even more.

so let’s talk about totty. what turns us on? what turns us off ? which bits drive us mad with lust ? who’s your fave totty at the moment ? i’ll start…

i like nothing better than a nice tight backside. men who are well-toned but not built-up. large but elegant hands. i don’t really have a “type”. i’m the girl who had a major crush on jack dee and also fancies johnny depp and al pacino. i once saw john malkovich on stage and not only nearly fell over the balcony, i’m pretty sure i did dribble on the patrons below. fave totty at the moment… warwick brown (gary dourdan from csi). phew! damn… those eyes!

it’s about 35degrees over here, going on 45 now. time for a cool shower.

let’s have some totty talk in the comments……

silly, silly people

i am rather shocked today. i was innocently surfing about (wishing there was some actual sea involved)  and came across several lists of stupid 999 calls and, of course, i immediately wanted to share this idiocy with my six readers. so here we go with my top ten in no particular order.

Caller: My wife’s left me two salmon sandwiches which was left over from last night… and I’m a sat in the chair here and she’s out there decorating. She won’t put any food on or anything for anybody, I don’t know what….

Caller: Hello… I know this is gonna sound stupid but a pigeon’s been run over… and I’ve got no money to phone the RSPCA or anything…

Caller: I want to know what year the internet first came out I can’t remember.

Caller: Hi. I’m next to the M32, city centre… there’s an M32 city centre sign. Can you inform Animal Rescue that there’s a grey squirrel with no hazelnut trees please.”

Caller: The emergency is… I am at Lockleaze… and I would like to get home…

Caller: There’s no emergency except that there are no buses in Crow Lane…

Caller: Well, I don’t know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I?ve never cooked one before.

Caller: I’m in Huntingdon, looking for Homebase and I can’t find it.

Caller: “I’ve dropped the remote down the back of the settee and I need someone to change the television channel.”

Caller:“I’ve had a dream that I was unconscious and I’ve just collapsed.”

while it’s generally very amusing to poke fun at the foolishness of people, i am disturbed that people with genuine emergencies often complain about not being able to get through to 999. what am i supposed to do next time there’s a spider in the bath?

guitar porn

our great friend c came over last night and we sat down and watched “it might get loud”. vishy has been suggesting i watch it for ages now but i thought it sounded a bit wanky. jimmy page, jack white and the edge get together and play guitars. sounds great for guitarists but a big fat yawn for the rest of us.

what i saw instead, was a meeting of brilliance. three people who live, breath and love what they do and who communicated something deeply human through their playing. that desire to express themselves.

the respect they have for their fellow musicians was beautiful to witness. something that seems to have been forgotten by so many artists. their acknowledgement of where their music comes from, the people that came before them, those incredible musicians whose names so few people know, was like music itself.

the best moment for me was seeing jack white sitting and listening to sun house “grinnin’ in your face”

one man against the world in one song

i could almost feel that moment of revelation he experienced. that moment when he realised that music didn’t have to be a certain way. music can just be.

brilliant.

i urge you to beg, steal or borrow this film. well, don’t steal it because that would be wrong but you know what i mean. and to all you non-guitar players out there, it couldn’t be further from a big fat yawn.

ps: notice how i managed to sneak porn into yet another title here! got to get people hooked somehow. 😀

stupid baby names

it’s been a while since i wrote any nonsense here and much has happened in the world. not that i noticed while it was happening. the big news was that chelsea clinton got married to some bod called marc. no idea when mark came to be spelled with a “c” or when it became acceptable to name your child after an area in london but there you go. people are strange. in other celebrity news, alicia keys married someone called swizz beatz and now we have a silly name competition on our hands. the prize used to be held by the artist formally known as prince who became this unpronounceable symbol

jordan and peter andre called their daughter princess tiaamii, poor child. life is hard enough for kids without inflicting ridiculous names on them too. but they didn’t start this cutesy nauseating trend. bob geldof and paula yates should be held partly accountable for fifi trixibell (and paula again for heavenly hiraani tiger lily with michael hutchence) but they are not the worst offenders. here’s my list of the worst of the worst:

shannyn sossamon (i had to look up who the hell she was!) called her boy, audio science.
geri halliwell settled on blue angel for her girl? boy?
arthur ashe’s boy(?) is called camera.
david duchovny and tea leoni skipped the thinking up names bit and went straight for kyd.
jermaine jackson continued the rampant insanity in the jackson family and called one of his kids jermajesty
but i think the prize has to go to mr frank zappa who cursed his children with the names moon unit, dweezil and diva muffin

i should point out that my name, cassi with an “i” is not to be included in this diatribe about silly names. it is a unique and rather beautiful name, befitting of a diva but if i was having to name a child these days, i’d go for something that would really stand out like george or mary. the naming equivalent of not having a tattoo or having real boobs.

what’s the silliest name you’ve heard?

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